Christmas Surprise

Sorry I have been a little mia lately. We surprised the kids on Wed. with "Christmas." We woke them up and then off we went to the airport.

We are here at Walt Disney World and having a great time. I have decided it is hard to eat healthy at the parks. There just isn't much of a selection. (although I did have a very yummy veggie burger on Thursday.)

So, I'm not eating great, but I am really trying to get some mileage in. That hasn't been too hard running around with five kids! We are done at the park for now, and will board the ship next week. More food challenges, but also I'm hoping better options. Off to bed now, I can't believe how tired I am!

Whose pants are these??

Today I was doing laundry. Okay, with 5 kids, I do laundry everyday. I grabbed the hot clean clothes out of the dryer and laid them out quickly so they wouldn't wrinkle. I pulled out a pair of jeans, held them up and thought, "Whose pants are these?" For a quick second I honestly didn't know who they belonged to. Oh my heck! These were my pants! I used to wear size 24. These were my new size 16 jeans that I've been wearing for about a month and a half. I couldn't believe it, and I laughed out loud.

My addiction

I am addicted! No, it's not meth, crack, pot or even alcohol. My drug of choice is food. I crave it. It numbs the pain, and makes everything better. I can hide away in a big bag of chips, or a huge bowl of ice cream.

But when I come out of my daze, oh what a hang over I have! I feel like crap! Tired, yucky, discouraged, disappointed and out of control.

I have often wished that I could stop cold turkey, just like I was addicted to drugs. But with food, you can't. You have to eat. You're caught between a rock and a hard place. You can't stop eating all together, but you also can't give in to temptation and eat too much. It's like telling a crack head to just have a little everyday, and it will be okay.

I am slowing learning to eat in moderation. When I lose my head and do overindulge I always regret it, but now my body does too. I feel so different than when I am eating healthy. It is helpful to compare the two feelings. When I remember how yucky I feel, or how great I feel when I am working out and eating right it is a no brainer.

How to you fight the addiction?

Busy... tis the season!

It's one week til we leave for our family Christmas trip. I have been very busy getting ready. I am feeling better about tackling the challenge of a two week vacation and still being able to eat healthy. The stress even threw me off for a few days at home, but I'm back on track. I got a great (quick) bike ride in this morning of 12 miles. I usually don't exercise before I get the kids out the door, but I knew it was a busy day, and it was a priority.

I loved the biggest loser finale. I was so happy Danny won. He looked totally awesome!

Thanks!

I just wanted to thank everyone for the great advice about my trip. You were all very encouraging and helpful. This is going to be a test of my new mindset, but I can do it. I have always been an all or nothing girl. I can set boundaries for myself, but they have to be very strict or and clear. Black and White. To say, "I'm going to eat healthy" is not as practical as I will only have dessert 3 nights, and red meat 2 nights. I think I just need to be decided like you said, and have my boundaries set. Thank you for helping me realize this. I'm looking at my cruise as a "spa" time, to take care of myself and be strong and healthy. (Mentally and Physically) You guys are the greatest. I love the support I find here.

A huge challenge!

I am trying to stay motivated in the face of a challenge. Almost two years ago my husband and I planned on a Christmas get-away for this year. We have 4 days in Florida and then a 9 night cruise with our family. Are you kidding me? I am so excited to get away with the kids and my cute hubby and have a blast, but I am soooo scared of having a two week binge fest! Is it possible to gain the whole 67 pounds I've lost back in two weeks? Ug!

So I'm planning on taking all my exercise clothes, and the ship has a gym. The ship also has TONS of fattening food. I want to indulge a little and enjoy myself, but I don't want to be derailed. I plan on getting a dessert at dinner if something looks really good, and then just having a few bites. My hubby who is thin and fit is great at finishing up my leftovers. :) I know there will be lots of fruit and healthy food too, and I just need to be smart about it, but I didn't get to be 100 pounds overweight by being smart about food.

And now, since I know that I probably will gain a few pounds on this trip my mind is playing games with me. That little evil voice is saying, "If your going to gain weight anyway... those chips in the cupboard sound so good." Or, "ooh, those cookies look so good, you should just start eating now." HELP!

How do I navigate this trip and come out on top? I would love to go and maintain, but I don't think that is realistic. I will fit in lots of exercise, but I would be thrilled to come home with just a 5 pound weight gain. So any tips or suggestions would be great. I could sure use all the help I can get.

Surprised!

Last night we had an activity at the church. As I was getting out of the car, I noticed that my 7 year old daughter was marching through the parking lot and stopped in the middle of it with her arm and hand outstretched for an oncoming car to stop. Since the car clearly saw her and I knew she was in no danger (except maybe of looking crazy). I ran up to her, grabbed her hand playfully and ran the rest of the way across the parking lot. Huh, I thought to my self. That was really easy. I felt so light on my feet. I was really surprised. Shocked really. I work out 4 or 5 times a week, but never run because that's what "thin" people do. Hmmm, maybe I'll give it a shot!
I finished up the night at the gym doing 40 min. on the elliptical, and 15 min. on the bike. Good day. Oh, and I'm up to 67.5 pounds lost. Yehaw!

Retraining the way I think

As I was straightening up the kitchen, I reached for the box of Cheerios (the kids had left out) to put them in the pantry. My hand reached down into the bag for a handful. I stopped. What was I doing? I wasn't hungry. I didn't even want the Cheerios. The food was just there and I was ready to grab some.
I have decided that losing weight is 90% mental and 10% physical. I love exercise, and know that it is an important part of a healthy lifestyle, but for me, getting to the gym is the tough part, not the actual exercise.
It's the same with eating. I have to retrain my brain to not stuff anything that looks good into my mouth. Thoughtful, conscious eating is huge. So many times when I screw up I start eating before I start thinking.
So, I'm hoping you will all give me some ideas as to how to accomplish this. Go to it, tell me your tricks. I'm ready to retrain my brain!

EXERCISE: Punishment vs. Reward

I finished yesterday off strong with a trip to the gym. Usually my husband and I try and go together, but the kids needed help with homework, so my sweet hubby offered to stay home with our children and let me go. I got a great workout in. I did about 45 minutes on the elliptical machine, and 20 minutes on the bike.

There was a time not too long ago that I thought exercise was a punishment. My mindset was, if you had let yourself gain weight then you had to go workout to try and be thinner. Now I can honestly say that I enjoy working out. Yes, it's hard, but I LOVE the way I feel afterward. I feel strong and in control, and I wouldn't trade that for anything.... especially sitting on the couch watching t.v. It has also become my "me" time as well. A short moment when I'm not taking care of my 5 kids, but taking care of myself. I deserve that, and my kids deserve a mom who takes care of herself.

Well I'm off to ride the recumbent bike. I'm hoping my 23 month old will watch disney channel while I ride. ;)

Damage control

I did great for Thanksgiving. Then.... there were the leftovers, and the football game. Who can say no to mint oreo cookies? Well I should have! Yesterday (Sunday) I was back on track, and today hopped on the scale to check the damage. I'm up 2.5 pounds. I guess it could be worse. It could also be better.

I realized that because I was mentally up for Thanksgiving Day, and had a plan I conquered it, and did awesome. It was when I didn't have a plan, or determination that I struggled. So, the lesson I learned? Plan ahead, even for the unexpected. And when I fall down, jump up, brush myself off, and get right back at it!

What do you do when you have a setback??

Surviving Thanksgiving

Yeah! I made it through Thanksgiving without totally screwing up! I had a wonderful meal with Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and even a little sliver of pecan pie. It was very yummy. I think it was the first time I can remember that I haven't used Thanksgiving as an excuse to stuff myself. It felt good.

I hosted Thanksgiving this year, which kept me running the whole day. It was good. After dinner we went for a walk to the park and played with the little kids. It was good to see family that we haven't seen for a while. Some of them were surprised to see me smaller than I have been. That was fun.

I am so thankful for my family! For my wonderful children and my amazing husband. He has loved me through thick and thin. Literally. I still have a ways to go on my journey, but I'm so glad I have him by my side.

Well, off to put up the Christmas decorations.

To weigh or not to weigh

I have a confession. I weigh everyday. Usually at least twice a day. (Sometimes more) Once in the morning, and once at night. I know it's a little psychotic. I recently tried to have a "weigh in" once a week, but found that just didn't work for me. I think I need to be more accountable. If I know I'm getting on the scale tomorrow, I tend to stay on track better today.

Sometimes I get on the scale and think, "I can't believe I've lost that much." So I hop back on a few more times to "check." OR I think that I should have lost more that the scale says, so I give it a few more tries to see if I can get a different number that I like better. It doesn't work.

So what works for you? Do you weigh every day, every week, every once in a while, or as little as possible?

The Biggest Loser

I watched The Biggest Loser tonight at the gym. I usually like to work out to music, but I was not going to miss this show! (It was very motivating, and I got a great workout.)

I did about 40 minutes on the elliptical machine and 25 minutes on the bike. The time totally flew by, cuz' I was so immersed in the show.

I'm cheering for Danny. I think he seems like such a great family guy. Although it would be great if Amanda won too.

I did a great job eating today... almost. I picked up some small packages of chips for the kids for lunches, and thought it would be a good idea to eat a small bag of sun chips. And then another one. Oh well, I finished strong, and tomorrow is a new day.

Thank You Susan Boyle!

Susan Boyle is my inspiration. Last April (2009) she had the courage to get up on a stage for Britain's Got Talent and put her heart out there. Everyone doubted her. She might have even doubted herself. But she did it. She put on her best dress, walked out on that stage, and laid it all out there. I was mesmerised. I followed her hits on YouTube. I read all I could about her.

One thought just kept returning to my mind. What if Susan Boyle had chickened out that day. What if she had decided that it was easier to just stay home, and not risk the embarrassment. She would never know the success that awaited her, and the world would never know of her talent. Her life would have gone on, just as it always had in her quiet town with her cat. No one would have known who Susan Boyle was.

So what would happen if I just put it out there. Gave it my all to lose this weight, and break free of this self imposed prison. I might be capable of great things, and never know if I don't try. I decided to follow Susan Boyle's example last April 17th. I've now lost 67 pounds. (as of today) It hasn't been easy. I've made lots of mistakes, but I just keep trying. Thanks Susan!

My Journey

This is a record of my journey. My struggles to lose weight and get healthy. I have so far lost a total of 62.5 pounds and am working toward 100. I started last April 18th and have lost on average about 10 lbs a month. I am doing it the "old fashioned way" with eating less and working out. I was really cruzing along, but have struggled this past month with staying focused and motivated.

This blog is an effort to help me get my feelings out there, and be able to look back on my progress and keep going. Hopefully I will help others see that they can do it to.